Like A Fool, I Fell In Love Again
by xXMisunderstood.16Xx
Summary: Set after Eclipse; After Jake leaves, Leah Clearwater is left with no one. She soon finds a friend in Edward Cullen and falls in love.
1. Chapter 1

**This is just an idea that's been floating through my mind for a while so I decided to write it all down. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot.**

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Cold.

That's how I felt as I watched my Jacob leave. He said he wasn't coming back until he got his head straight, but it still hurt to watch my only friend leave. As if he didn't care that he was hurting me in the process. It was all her fault, that stupid leech-loving bitch. She did this to my Jacob. I saw his thoughts when we were the only ones in our wolf form. Jake showed me everything. From how she practically sucked his face off then basically told him to fuck off she's marrying the leech. Well she didn't really put it that way but it's what went through my mind as he told me.

Why must she hurt him? If it wasn't for Jake himself, I'd kill her without a second thought. Jake left me by myself because he couldn't take the pain of watching someone he loved, love somebody else. But I dealt with the pain for 2 years now. Everyday I have to watch Sam and Emily in their circle of fake love and happiness. It's what sucks the most about being a wolf, everyone knows everything. You can't hide nor conceal your thoughts. Though I've practiced and mastered concealing my thoughts from my pack, I get tired of seeing what runs through the minds of my hormonal pack brothers.

I sighed resting my head on my knees as I sat on the porch of my old two story home. Times like these, when I felt lonely and Jake wasn't around is when I missed my dad the most. He always made me feel loved and appreciated. Then again of course he would, he's my dad, but I've never felt that away around my mom. Dad would always call me his little moon princess, though I was far from a "princess" growing up.I was a huge tomboy back then, opting with football with the guys, hiking and camping out under the stars, instead Barbie dolls and jump rope. My mom didn't understand it, often she would voice her opinion, but it didn't matter because dad still loved me and he didn't care.

Now at 20, well physically 18yrs old, I wasn't that bratty tomboy anymore. I still kicked Jake's ass in football though. My body had filled out tremendously, Jake always said I had a Kardashian ass which in return I'd give him a punch to the gut. I had my moms long silky black hair which I refuse to cut. And my dads warm cinnamon brown eyes. Smooth russet colored skin which hinted my Native American background. I was also pretty damn tall, 6ft to be exact. It's the damn wolf gene. I got up wiping the dust off my bottom and proceeded into the forest. I had to let the others know that Jake was gone. I couldn't have them worried, I was the only one who knew, the only one he said goodbye to.

I walked the short distance to Sam's cabin. It's usually where the pack hung out, stuffing their face with Emily's shitty food. As I reached the small cabin nestled right outside the woods, I took a minute to gather my thoughts before knocking on the wooden door was Quil that answered.

"Leah?"

"What does it look like shit for brains?" I answered. With a smirk.

"I mean-I just w-what are you doing here?" he stammered.

"Damn Quil is it wrong of me to want to hang with my pack brothers?" we both new what I said was a load of shit.

I sighed. "Look just let me in the damned house I need to speak with you all. Is everyone here"? I tried peering over his beefy shoulder.

"Yup" he answered "Except for Jake that is." he stepped aside letting me in the small house. Everyone was sitting in the living room and the adjoining kitchen munching on Emily's pissy muffins. Even though I was slightly hungry at the moment, I'd rather gag then subject myself to eat her food.

"Leah what are you doing here?" everyone exclaimed nervously. Even Seth was a little fidgety but he looked the other way when I gave him a questioning look. I grimaced and shook it off.

"Glad to see you all too. What kind of fucking greeting is that? A simple 'hello Leah' or a 'hey how you doing Leah' would have been nice"

"Did you come here just to complain or piss us off?" Paul shouted from the kitchen, mouth full of food. Fucking pig.

"Look you guys, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but. . . . Jake is gone." I said plopping myself down on the old recliner opposite of Sam and Emily on the loveseat. Sam shot up out of his seat.

"What do you mean gone?" he looked furious, at me. What the hell did I do?

"I mean gone as he packed up his shit and left. Don't worry he'll be back. I think" I retorted.

"And why did you let him leave? Why didn't you stop him?" he took a step closer. I stood up.

"News flash asshole, it's a free country, Jake has the right to go where ever he so pleases so back the fuck off. He needed to get out, to clear his head. Give him some time he'll be back." I snapped. I was beyond pissed right now. And ready to leave. Emily reached a hand out to her husband, my ex, and pulled him down next to her on the loveseat. He visibly relaxed and kissed her forehead gently and my heart hurt a little, but nothing prepared for the scene that would happen next. Sam placed his hand tenderly on Emily's stomach and they both looked down at it lovingly.

I gasped, tears welling up in my eyes already but I fought them back. Sam and Emily looked up sharply eyes wide.

"When did you plan on telling me?" I trembeled though I tried keeping my voice steady. My heart was thumping loudly in my ears, I'm sure everyone could hear it minus Emily. She cleared her throat,

"We just found out not so long ago Leah we want-" I raised my hand stopping her mid-sentence.

"What a load of shit because from the looks of things y'all weren't planning on telling me at all. " I stood up and headed towards the front door.

"Leah wait." I heard Sam call from behind.

I spun around on my heels "Fuck you Sam and fuck you Emily. You're my cousin, I considered you a sister. We told each other everything."

"I'm sorry" I heard Emily whisper.

"Choke on a muffin skank." I growled back before heading out slamming the door loudly behind me. The impact of Emily's pregnancy didn't hit me until I was halfway deep through the forest. I shouldn't be so mad at her, it's her life, her baby and if she doesn't want to tell me then, well, that's her decision. It just hurt to know that they actually were planning on not telling me. Would they wait until she started showing or until the baby was born? I shook my head. I began unconsciously running deeper into the dark woods. It's not like I was lost, I knew these woods like the back of my hands. I stopped leaning agaisnt a tree. I slid down against the tree, the rough texture tearing the back of my shirt. I allowed a few tears to escape my sorrow filled eyes. Is it wrong of me to hate Emily so much? She took everything away from me. My fiancé, my friends, and now she's pregnant and I can never have that. I can't get pregnant. I'm a fucking menopausal she wolf stuck in time until my body stops shifting. I haven't had my period or gotten sick since my change. Fate fucks me over. Why can't I have a happy ending? I turn away guys that do try to get to know me because deep down there's a hope that Sam would leave Emily for me. I groaned. I need to move on from this Sam and Emily thing. But it hurts so much. I wish Jacob was here, I wished that he never left. I needed my best friend.

The woods were quiet, not an animal in sight as I stood up from the forest ground. As I began walking in the direction of my home a white blur flashed at the corner of my eyes. I inhaled deeply then grimaced. Vampire.

"Show yourself" I growled. My body trembled ready to phase if a fight were to go down. It stepped out from behind the trees.

"Leah Clearwater it's only me." Edward Cullen walked out his hands up in surrender.

I sneered "What the hell are you doing on Quileute land bloodsucker?" I took an offensive possession.

He smirked "Your in Cullen territory Clearwater." I looked around taking in my surroundings. My brows furrowed. I was on their land. Man I must of been really out of it. The sudden realization didn't stop me from keeping my guard up.

"Well piss off leech I was just leaving" I began walking back in the direction to La Push but his voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Leah wait!" I inwardly groaned. "What?" I snapped.

"Jake, is he really gone?"

"No shit Sherlock what else have you been soaking up from my mind?" I said crossing my arms under my breast. His eyes zeroed in on the area and I dropped my arms at my side instantly. He cleared his throat and brought his attention back to my face.

"I didn't mean to be listening in I-I- I apologize" he said curtly. "I'm sorry about Emily,I must leave now. Bye Miss Clearwater." and just like that he was gone. Stupid leech I grumbled as I took off to La Push. And I swear I heard his laugh echo through the forest.

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**Review please and tell me what you think : )**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the late update. Chapters will come sooner I promise. R&R please : )  
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot**

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Today is Seth's birthday. Unfortunately instead of a nice get together here in La Push, the Cullen's decided to step in and use their lavish expenses to throw Seth a birthday bash. I, for one, was against it, but Seth begged me to go. What kind of sister would I be to keep my brother away from his birthday party?

I reluctantly agreed to letting him go. I couldn't deny him anything he was so happy and cheerful. Everything that I am not, I couldn't be the one to rain on his parade so to speak. If he wanted to party with the leeches then so be it. It just sucks to know that I'll be suffering there while he's partying away. Seriously, how is he not bothered by their smell?

All of the pack will be there, what another downside. Not to mention Sam and Emily will be there and I've be doing my best at avoiding the pair.

"Leah are you ready?" I heard Seth yell from the other side of my bedroom door.

"Yeah give me a minute." I replied back. Putting my hair up in a simple bun. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I had on nice strapless sundress that stopped just below my knees and matching pair of flip flops. It would be good to look nice for a change. Being a wolf and never knowing when I had to phase or not I opted for the less appealing clothes or a sarong.

"Leah come on!" Seth whined from the other side of the door.

"Shit! Seth I'm coming!" I growled. I reached under my bed grabbing the wrapped present and setting in on top of the bed.

"Seth would you come in for a minute" I called out. I suddenly felt nervous. What if he doesn't like it? I questioned myself. Then shook the thought out of my head, he had better like this damn present. The door swung open. He gave me a questioning look and I patted the space beside me gesturing for him to take a seat on my twin sized bed.

"Happy birthday little brother." I held out the small wrapped gift "It's not much, but it's special. In that case you better like it." I punched him lightly on the shoulder. He snatched the present away eagerly tearing the wrapper off with a goofy grin on his face. He lifted the lid off the square shaped box and reached for the gift inside. He pulled it out slowly studying it. _Oh boy_.

He analyzed it for a while and I started to get restless.

"Look if you don't like it then give it the hell ba-" I was broke of mid sentence as I felt Seth's warm arms wrap around me crushing me in a tight embrace.

"I love it Leah. It looks just like the one dad made me, except there is a chocolate brown wolf on it. My wolf" he beamed." Did you make it? How? Where'd you learn to make these?"

"Whoa slow down with the questions. Geesh. I'd figured you'd want a new one after what happen to the last one. Not trying to replace the old one." I said gesturing to the hand woven bracelet. "And to answer your question, yes, I made it. Dad taught me a little something. And mom helped a little. Jake made the wolf, he's better at making those than I am. I mean unless you want the one I made...it sort of kind of looks like a cross breed of a duck and bear but it's as close to a wolf carving I can make." I joked.

"Nah I'm good. I like this one better. Wish Jake was here though so I could tell him thanks" he sighed.

"Wish he was here too kid. Look I know this will never replace the one dad made you but I just thought this would help you feel better after what happened to the  
last one." When Seth first phased his old one shredded beyond repair. He was devastated.

"Thanks Leah. This is awesome. You have to teach me how to make these one day."

"Are you shitting me or are you being serious.?" I questioned.

"I'm totally shitting you" he smirked placing the bracelet around his right wrist.

I smirked. "Whatever loser let's head to the leech lair I don't want to be there for long." I grumbled.

"You mean Cullen's and they're not that bad Leah, except for their smell." he wrinkled up his nose. Ahh so he isn't immune to their horrible stench. I laughed. He gave me a questioning look and I waved him off. In which he in return stuck his tongue out at me. "Lets go Leah! I really want to get there on time." he whined. I scowled and stood up. I still can't believe my brother was a leech lover ever since the little showdown against the newborn leeches, Seth has been praising and playing best friends with the Cullen's. It was ridiculous and sick even.

We pulled up at the leeches' creepy old mansion. Seth bounding out the car and heading up the front door, not even bothering to knock he just walked right in. I sighed and got out of the car walking tentatively towards and in the home of the Cullen's. Mother leech was the first to greet me as I walked through the foyer.

"Hello Leah." she smiled warmly and it was hard for me to even glare at her with a motherly face like hers, she even had dimples. Gahh! She's still a killing machine. I thought in my head.

I nodded "Hi Mrs. Cullen" I replied back hoping to end all communication. Unfortunately she continued.

"Please dear call me Esme, Mrs. Cullen makes me feel old." she winked and laughed at her own joke. I smiled in return. Feeling slightly uncomfortable.

Sensing my uneasiness, Esme said "The others are all in the backyard including your pack brothers. There's food and drinks out there also so help your self." she smiled affectionately. Why was she a leech again?

"Thanks err Esme.."

She nodded "You're welcome dear" she patted me gently on the shoulder.

I walked out the sliding glass doors leading out to their large backyard. Everyone was here. Mom and Charlie were chatting by themselves over by an empty table further away from the party. How surprising. I rolled my eyes. I wasn't shocked to see the entire pack surrounding the table filled with refreshments. They were all stuffing their faces as usual. Disgusting. I stood watching in horror as they ate everything and I mean everything on the table.

"Oh dear, good thing I made more for such growing boys" I heard Esme murmur from behind. I watched as the process was repeated again. You know those moments when you watch something really gross but you can never take your eyes away from it? Well this was one of those moments.

"Leah watch out!" I heard a voice yell.

I turned around sharply to see a football hurdling towards my face. I easily caught it hissing slightly ass the ball nearly took my entire hand off.

"What the hell!" I growled. My eyes looked up to see the blonde military vamp walking over towards me.

"Sorry about that...good catch though...for a girl" he drawled in his Texas accent. If he wasn't a leech I'd be goo right now.

"Are you assuming girls can't catch a football?" I asked raising both eyebrows.

He chuckled nervously. "No not at all."

"Hurry up Jasper" the big leech yelled from across the yard.

I sneered. Taking a step back I threw the football as far into the forest as I could. Jaspers eyes widened and I smirked.

"Nice throw, you got a good arm on you." the big leech yelled.

I shrugged "Thanks."

Jasper took off into the forest in his vampire speed returning in mere seconds with the ball. I took my chance to escape over to stand around my pack brothers. Truthfully I'd rather make conversation with them then the filthy bloodsuckers.

The party dragged. Everyone seemed to be having fun but here I am sticking out like an sore thumb. I hovered around my pack mostly refusing to interact with any of those bloodsuckers. It was for the best I kept my distance from them. Seth got a lot of things from the Cullen's. Things that made me feel bad and I want to cry because the presents he got I know were something me or mom could never afford and he looked so happy opening them. I felt as if my makeshift gift was no longer important. The fortune teller bought him a wardrobe of designer clothes and I didn't know whether to thank her be he really needed them or burn them. He received expensive video games and even money.

_Stupid better than thou leeches. _

"I beg to differ Ms. Clearwater." a deep smooth voice broke me from my thoughts. I turned Slowly. Edward stood before me with Bella clung to his waist like he was her fucking lifeline. Pathetic.

"Just because we have insufficient funds does not mean we believe ourselves above everyone else."

"Yeah whatever." I dismissed not wanting to start an argument with the prick. Be nice, be nice, be nice. I chanted. Bella walked up slowly, but Edward refused to leave her side.

"I'm sorry about Jake" she whispered grimly. How dare she. She shouldn't be apologizing to me. This was all her fault. I was pissed.

I narrowed my eyes at her "You're the one that should be fucking sorry, it's your fault he left in the first place." I snapped. Okay so that wasn't exactly nice but she shouldn't of went there.  
I tried with all my might to keep my anger in control but everything about Isabella just made me want to pound her face in.

Tears were streaming down her face "I did nothing wrong. He knew that I'd chose Edward in. He's hurting himself." she sniffed.

I growled. "This _is_ your fault Isabella" I spat her name as if it were a disease. "You knew how he felt about you, yet you kept leading him on. You told him you loved him, not to mention you kissed him or do you not remember?" I added. "How do you expect him not to feel the way he does when you're practically throwing yourself at him?" I growled. The mind rapist cleared his throat preparing to say something. He opened up his mouth but I raised my hand "Save it leech, I was just leaving." I stormed over to Seth giving him a short apology for leaving and took off into the now dark woods escaping from the problems I left behind.


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's another chapter for you guys! Hope you like it. Read and Review please**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot**

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It didn't take me long to find my special place deep enough in the woods far enough for me to get away from everything. I pushed through the small bushes and ferns being greeted by my home outside home. It was a small cave hidden underneath large mountains. It was a beautiful scenery. The area was surrounded by large trees blocking the view of the cloudy sky. Bright flowers blankets the moist ground and just a few yards away was a small creek. I found this place not too long ago after I phased. I had been exploring the area of La Push the lands that I couldn't see in my human form. I even explored deeper into Forks and that's when I stumbled upon this place. Leah's world, land, throne. Whatever you want call it, it was a place for me to sit and have my thoughts to myself to get away from every one. This place had been special to me. I shielded my thoughts from my pack brothers from ever discovering this place, like they'd travel out this far anyway. I plopped down on the surprising dry grass beside the creek. It was pitch dark out but with advanced senses I could see everything as if it were Daylight. I looked down at my bare feet. I had long since loss my flip flops in my quick haste to get hear. I'd eventually find them on the way home.

I peered out at the small creek letting my thoughts consume me. Is this what I'd go through for the rest of my life? Knowing that my pack brothers hated me, pining over Sam? Forced to interact with those bloodsuckers? I missed my life before I was turned into this monster. I was a freak among freaks. First and only female werewolf in history. I was smaller than the others, the fastest, yet I was the weakest. Even my eye colors changed. In wolf form everyone kept their natural eye color. But not me. My eyes change gold. Not just regular gold I'm talking vegetarian leechy gold. It couldn't get more freakier than that. One might think becoming a wolf would be a great thing. A Quileute honor. But it wasn't. At least not for me. My life was really, a living hell since my transformation.  
It was because of me that my dad is gone, Sam is gone, that Jake left. When I needed him so much right now. My life sucked completely, why must fate screw me over so much? I brought my hands to my face wiping away my fallen tears. This was definitely not how I pictured spending my time on my brothers birthday.  
I cleared my mind and hummed an old tune softly to myself to get my breathing together. It helped calm me down. Something dad was exceptionally good at.  
My nose twitched. And I inwardly groaned. I smelt him before I saw him and I growled out.

"If you value your undead life you'd leave right the fuck now" I  
seethed, standing up facing the son of bitch that dare disturb me at MY place. I was beyond pissed and annoyed and I definitely didn't need his presence already worsening my bad mood.  
His eyes widened and he stumbled over his words

"I d-didn't mean t-t-to err follow you." he closed his eyes. "Do you mind?" he asked pointing to my dress.  
I gave him a confused look then glanced at my dress. My right boob was peeking out at the top. The hell? How the fuck did that happen? I pulled the strapless dress back over my boob not even the least bit embarrassed.

_What a prude_. I thought. And then remembered he read minds. Who cares anyway. _I'm sure you've seen worse in the mind of others especially if you've been around my back brothers_. I visibly shook. They had the  
nastiest minds I had the misfortune to subject myself to. One of the many downsides of being the only female in a pack full of horny males. I made sure my breast were securely resting inside the dress then turned my attention back towards the leech.

"You better have a good enough reason for following me here parasite." This was my spot no one was allowed here. And I mean NO ONE.

"I came on Bella's wishes. She wants to apologize for what happened earlier." he said sincerely palming the back of his neck in an awkward stance. "Well where is she? Shouldn't she be here apologizing?" I snapped.

"I wouldn't let her anywhere near you." he replied simply.

I shrugged. "Apology unaccepted now leave." I said pointing at the direction in which he came.  
His posture changed and the look on his face hardened. His  
features became harsh. "Save your bitchy facade for someone else, dog. Why must push people away when they try to help you? I've had enough of your shit." I was taken back by his bluntness, shocked even.

"I've had enough of your hateful thoughts directed at my family. We've done but treat you and your pack with the up most respect and we at-least deserve a little more courteousness from you if that's too much to ask."  
I stood there for a minute adjusting to his cold words. And then I laughed. I mean gut wrenching laugh that had me bending over and heaving. "Oh my fucking" -gasp- "god" I stood up still laughing slightly. I finally calmed down.

"When did you grow a set of balls?" I smirked.  
He rolled his eyes, "I despise the way you treat my fiancé and my family." I grinned wider.

"Aww what's wrong? Am I hurting your leechy feelings?" I laughed. "Listen the world is harsh take it from somebody who knows. I went easy on Isabella so be happy I didn't use my full potential on her."  
He growled. "She doesn't need your snarky attitude during this time. Since Jake left without a damn goodbye."

"If Bella wasn't so busy whoring herself out to Jake he wouldn't be hurtling and therefore he wouldn't of never, left just saying."  
His golden orbs were ablaze with rage. His teeth bared. "And you wonder why Sam left you? You're a bitter old shrew, you could never keep a man." he yelled back.  
I physically recoiled from his words. Involuntary tears began pooling in my eyes. I held my head down in defeat. He was right I was bitter, I made everyone feel my pain by intentionally causing them to hurt.  
I looked up and the leech was still standing there You'd think he'd have the decency to leave and let me wallow in misery. I wiped away the tears quickly. To hide how much his words truly hurt me.

His face softened and his voice was a calm whisper, "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I guess I acted out of anger." he said running his long pale fingers through his bronze locks.

"Not your fault. I don't blame you. I was being a bitch." I said  
sheepishly.

"Is that your way of apologizing flea bag?" he smirked

"It's as close to an apology as you'll get mosquito. And what's up with the name calling?" I questioned. Not that it bothered me but I was in no way, shape, or form, a damn flea bag. My pack brothers, yes, but, me, no way.

"What?" he raised his eyebrows "You can call me leech, bloodsucker, and whatever else you can think of, but I can't? That's a little hypocritical?"  
I rolled my eyes "As long as you're here I have the right to call you whatever the hell I want so just suck it up" I giggled at my lame joke.

"If you wasn't such a shrew miss Clearwater I'd say that you're quite funny."

"Ouch that stung. Cut the miss Clearwater shit. I'm far from my old ass mother. Can't you see the banging body and youthful face?"

"Definitely, you don't look a day over 75. And I'm just putting it lightly."

"Please, grandpa, what are you like a hundred, engaged to a teenager? Kind of pedophilic don't you think?" I laughed. I haven't laughed this much since Jake was around, and honestly it felt good to do so.

"I'm 17 actually. I've just been 17 for a long time." he mumbled. Oh touchy subject I snickered in my mind.

"How did you die?" I suddenly asked.

"Spanish influenza. 1918. It took my father and my mother."  
I suddenly felt sympathy for him, it's hard losing a parent and he lost both.

"It's ok really, I don't really remember much about them or my human life since my change."

"And Dr. Dracula-"

"You mean Carlisle." he interrupted.

"Yeah whatever, he's the one who changed you all?" I asked. What gave him the right to play god? I thought bitterly.

"Well actually he only changed me, Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett. Alice and jasper literally just showed up at our doorstep." he smiled then continued.

"I was the first human he changed. Carlisle had been traveling the world for over two centuries then. Looking for a companion. It was my mothers dying wish for him to save me in some way. He treated my mother and I after we were admitted in to the hospital. My father had perished only a week earlier." he said sadly. He had this far awake look in his eyes.

"And you like it, being turned into a vampire?" my feet were getting tired so I sat back down by the creek. He followed soon after.

"Sure vampirism has it's perks. The speed, the strength, the inhumanly and impossibly good looks." he smiled wiggling his eyebrows at me. I rolled my eyes and playfully slapped him on the shoulder, not that it did much.

"I hated Carlisle at first. Sentencing me to this condemned life. I even rebelled against everything he believed in, but I won't delve on that. The downside of being a vampire is living for eternity watching your friends and love ones die and wither away while you stay young and beautiful, existing for many more centuries to come. And the thirst. That's the worst, sure my family and I survive off of animal blood but the hunger for human blood is still there. That's exactly why I don't want this life for Bella, exactly why I wanted her to choose Jacob." he whispered quietly, that if it wasn't for my super hearing I would of never picked up on it. "But I love her too much to give her up. I guess once she's turned I wouldn't have to worry about wanting to kill her all the time." he laughed though there was no humor in his eyes.  
Wow. And I thought us wolves had it bad. We could stop phasing whenever we so choose but vampires will walk the world forever unless the world dies out or something. I mean couldn't that get so boring?  
That night chatting with the leech opened up eyes and I grew sympathy for the leechy family. Though they still smelled terrible, like burn your nostril hair off terrible, I guess I could turn down my outward hatred to them down just a bit. We'll see. I'm only kidding. I'm Leah Clearwater. I terrorize everyone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Read and review you guys! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**

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I left Leah shortly after our talk we had by the creek. From reading her thoughts I learned it was her favorite spot to relax, think, or just get away from everyone. Like my meadow, except I had someone to share it with. Leah didn't. Though I hate to admit I felt sympathy for the wolf. If anyone knew how it felt to be alone it would definitely be me. Before Bella came I had just merely existed I wouldn't quite say I was content with my life. Sure I had the love of my family but there was still something missing. It wasn't until a clumsy girl came unexpectedly into my life. And then I found something to live and I talked about everything though she didn't open up as much I had. I don't know what it was but I felt compelled to open up to her. Did this mean we were friends now? I wasn't quite sure. She seemed so put off but I did get her to smile a joked and laugh which telling from her and the pack's mind was something she hadn't done in quite a long time. She had said that my presence was tainting her special place, and though she was only joking I left. My excuse being getting home to my Bella. But really I felt guilty for interrupting her. I know exactly how she feels. The need to get away from everything and everyone. And I followed her to that place at which she holds dear to her heart. If someone other than Bella had ever step foot into my meadow while I was to myself I would of been furious.I walked though the front door, everything was back to normal. The house was spotless, all the party appliances were long gone. Had I been away that long? I checked the clock sitting high on the wall. 2:45 am. My eyes bulged. I had lost track of time. Bella was probably worried sick. I was greeted by my family as I walked further into the house. All in each other's embraces watching "the notebook" in the family room. I rolled my eyes, this was definitely Alice's doing. I looked around. I didn't see Bella and I panicked.

"She's upstairs in your room Edward." Alice smiled.

I nodded my thanks and took the stairs at a human pace. I wasn't sure if she would be upset about me being gone for so long but I'd hope she'd be happy that I finally got through to Leah, and convinced her to turn down the attitude some. I hate to see my Bella in pain and knowing that Leah and even Jacob caused this pain infuriated me.I peaked in quietly. She was wrapped up in a blanket her focus trained on an old paper back book. Weathering heights. I rolled my eyes and smiled. Then my smile dropped. Why is she still awake? Was she waiting up for me? I pushed my way inside, she glanced up from her book smiling at me.

"I missed you." she breathed.

I walked over, sitting by her side on the bed.

"As did I." I palmed her cheek returning her dazzled stare with a crooked grin.

Cue the blush, and the fast pace heart beat. I smirked.

"So..." she paused taking a breath, "How did it go?"

"Apology accepted." I grinned

"Really?" she stared at me baffled.

"Yes." I nodded. Ok so it wasn't a complete lie. Leah had somewhat agreed to tone down her hatred to my family that and well since Bella swan is soon to be Bella Cullen the same applied to her.

"Thank you Edward." she seemed genuinely happy but I could tell she wasn't. I could see she missed Jacob and how she was hurting because he left especially without saying goodbye.I leaned in pecking her small plump lips softly, and began pulling back, but Bella was having none of this. She grabbed the back of my neck forcing her lips closer to mine. I stopped myself from breathing. Her close proximity sent pools of venom rushing to my mouth. She straddle my hips and I pulled back swallowing the venom.

"Bella what are you do-" she silenced me resting her index finger against my lips.

"Shh. You agreed we'd try after the wedding. This is kind of like" she thought for a second "practicing before the practice." she smiled.

She then pressed her warm lips against mine and I began sucking on her full bottom lip. She moaned in my mouth and I whimpered at the sound. Lost in the make out session, Bella rubbed her hands up and down the sides of my arms until finally she grabbed one my hands and firmly placed it on her small yet perky breast. She gasped. And I pulled back afraid I had done something wrong.

"No! Don't stop!" she placed my hand back on her breast and I began gently massaging it, sometimes pulling at the pebbled nipple that form through her thin cotton t-shirt. She was moaning freely now and I was sure my family could hear, but every conscious thought began to disappear as she began grinding her clothed pussy against my straining member. The monster in me growled in triumph. The feelings were too much. I pulled back sharply. Dismembering my self from her and dashing over to the other side of the room where the large window was open. I took a few deep and unnecessary breaths and turned to face my love.

"While I enjoyed where things were heading, really, I think that's enough practice for tonight." I sighed.

"Its ok Edward, I know you won't hurt me." she said standing out and reaching for me. I slowly took a step back.

"You underestimate my control Bella." she looked hurt and my dead heart clenched painfully. I softened my expression. "I'm sorry Bella." I said reaching out to her and pulling her into a strong embrace. I stopped my breathing and fought against the temptation.

"I just can't risk hurting you, I promised we'd practice if you agreed to marry me. After the wedding we can practice all you want my love. You just have to give me time between now and when I change you, because any wrong move on my part could be fatal for you."I kissed the top of her head.

She snuggle into my chest. "I know Edward. It's just I want to be connected to you in every way possible. Not just emotionally but also physically." she blushed casting her eyes downwards.

"And you will my love, I promise," I lifted her chin and kissed her lightly on the lips and pulled back before a performance like last reoccurred a second time.

"Now get some sleep it's late." I said, flashing her a crooked grin.

"But I'm not even tired." she pouted and crossed her arms under her chest.

I playfully rolled my eyes "A beauty like you needs her rest, besides we have early plans in the morning, mailing wedding invitations and what not."

She groaned. But complied easily. She was so easy to persuade. Well sometimes she is. We settled down on to the king sized bed and she snuggled under the thick golden quilt while I laid on top.

"I love you Edward." she sighed contently wiggling her body closer to mine.

"I love you."

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**Sorry for any mistakes, I try my best to go over everything. I need a damn beta lol**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'd like to dedicate this chapter to farrahda5hy, my awesome new Beta and virtual wife. Without you, this story would be full of grammatical errors and what not. haha**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, but the plot.**

**Read and Review!  
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How the fuck did I end up coming here? I questioned myself as I approached the leech's mansion. Of course I used the excuse that I was bored with nothing to do which was semi true. The pack wanted nothing to do with me, and I wanted nothing to go with them. I could of done anything to occupy my endless amount of time. Hang at the beach, go the library, re-enroll in school. Yet out off all the things listed, I found myself here at the Cullen's seeking out the leech's company.

I never would admit it, but I enjoyed our little heart to heart last week. It was good to talk to someone even though the conversation was sad. In a way, it was comforting to not be alone for change. I suppose we had more in common than I believed.

I stepped on to the porch and thought hard before I knocked on the door. Would they hate me? Like I cared. The only leeches that showed any type of kindness, with an exception of Edward, were Esme and Carlisle. And the others, I'm not even sure if they liked me or not. Would they even want me here? I mean I did over share my outright hatred of all things leech, not like things changed. I hated vampires. I just had a minor exception with these bloodsuckers, a very minor exception.

Edward was nice and sort of funny in a way when he wasn't being such a prude, but part of me still held my defenses up because he is a vampire. Besides it's not like we are friends or anything or even associates for that matter. Then why are you here? My stupid inner monologue questioned. To get away from boring ass La Push for one and the fucking pack all they ever did nowadays was whine or gush or their stupid imprints. Even Seth had someone he was fawning over. And yeah well maybe just a small part of me wants to see Edward. I shook my head of the crazy thought.

I began getting cold feet. What if he's not here? What if he doesn't want to hang? Oh God what if Bella's there? I began to turn around and head back in the direction of my home, but before I could the door opened. Standing there clad in a tight grey polo sweater and dark jeans in all his pale glory looking like he stepped fresh out of a GQ magazine. What the fuck, GQ magazine Leah? I berated my self. You don't even read GQ let alone any other magazine at all. I shook my head.

"Hello Leah, pleasant surprise seeing you here." He raised an eyebrow, which really ticked me off since I have never quite mastered the art of raising one full eyebrow. Often I'd practice in the mirror then struggle to keep a straight face because I absolutely looked like a fucking retard.

"Umm, Seth he left hi,s umm, thing here." What? I mentally slapped myself for the lame excuse. Way to go, Leah. Seeing as Seth hadn't been over here since his party.

"And here I was thinking that you'd want my company," He smirked.

"Well since I'm here we could hang out?" I asked as if I needed his approval.

He stepped outside walking over to his Volvo parked in front of the leechy manor and opened the passenger door.

"Get in." he motioned.

"Do you honestly think that I'd get in a car with you, especially with your smell?" I scoffed, narrowing my eyes.

He shrugged his shoulders. "You've put up with it before, and it's not  
like you weren't planning to put up with it since you are here. But by all means, feel free to leave. I won't force you to come." He gave me a smug smile.

I rolled my eyes. "Wipe that grin of her face before I rip it off." I said while climbing into the car.

Not even a second had pass, and he had shut my door, climbing into the driver seat and shutting his own.

"You know, your scent is not that appealing at all since we're on the subject. You don't smell nearly as bad as your pack brothers." he wrinkled his face in disgust, shaking his head. "You smell more earthy with a hint of wet dog and something underneath but can't quite put my finger on it."

"Whatever, it's not nearly as bad as smelling old rancid animal meat and musty cellar," I punched him in the shoulder and winced slightly from the pain. Fucking rock.

Edward shook his head chuckling to himself. "Have you always been this violent and crude?"

"Fresh out the womb, dude."

He just shook his head and started the engine. And that's went it hit me and my mind did a little mini panic. I was in a car with a bloodsucking parasite. Where is he taking me? Would he try to kill me? I hardly know this ass-bag and I'm in a car with him. Pfft like he could try to lay a hand on me. I'd rip his balls off and burn them to ash before he could blink.

We pulled out of the narrow driveway. "Relax Leah. We're going grocery shopping." What the hell? I looked at him like he'd just grown two heads. He must be smoking that good shit if he'd ever think that I'd go grocery shopping with him. Where's the fun in that? I left La Push to hang out not fucking shop for food.

He sighed, "You came to my house to hang with me. And well we're running low on food and Bella needs to eat. My family isn't home and I'm stuck with grocery duty." He took his eyes off the road and gave me an apologetic look.

"I'll let you pick the food," He wavered. It was a done deal. Food and I were best friends.

Edward drove like a bat out of hell and I thrived off the speed. We were going speeds at such a fast rate that everything outside the window blurred as we past.  
After a few moment of dead and painful silence I cut the radio on. Edward growled at this, but I ignored it. I hit play on the disc player. It loaded and I rested back on my seat. Classical music began drifting through the speakers and I frowned in distaste.

"Seriously what are you a hundred years old?" I mentally slapped myself for asking such a dumbass question.

I ejected the CD out and rolled down my window and threw the shit out.

"Why did you do that?" Edward hissed.

I began searching the side pocket of the door for some better quality music.

"Because that shit is boring and old and tends to make people fall asleep." I beamed in triumph as I pulled out an old Paramore CD.

"I never took you for a Paramore fan leech." I said plugging the CD into to the car stereo. Not like I took you for a fan of anything at all.

"I'm not. That's definitely Alice's CD." He looked at the CD cover in distaste.

"God you're such a sourpuss. Paramore is the best band ever, well of this new day and age, they are. You need to open up more to new genres of music. You're so stuck in the past." I hit the play button.

"I love this fucking song!" I reached over and turned it up as Paramore's "That's What You Get" began blaring through the speakers.

I pretended I was playing the drums, making hand motions in the air. I began bobbing my head to the beat. I'm sure I looked like a fucking retard, but I couldn't help but get lost in the music as I sung along to the chorus.

"That's what you get when you let your heart win wo oooh ooo oo that what you get when you let your heart win, I drowned out all my sense with the sound of it's beating and that's what you her when you let your heart win, wo oh oh oh!"

"That's funny, I never took you for a punk rock type of girl." He said, glancing at me taking his eyes off the road once again.

I shook my head. "I'm definitely not, I love Paramore and a little Rolling Stones, some AC/DC here and there, but I'm a rhythm and blues chick. Usher is my favorite artist. Boy I'd like to mount him and ride him like a steed."

Oops that last statement sort of just slipped out. Damn word vomit. But damn, what I wouldn't give just to spend a night with Usher Raymond. Edward turned his head away in disgust. I giggled and rested back against the leather seat.

It wasn't long before we pulled up to the only supermarket in Forks, Washington. He began searching for a parking space, and I quickly pointed out one. As the leech was about to pull in, some asshole cut us off and stole the spot. Damn it! The dude hopped out of his old Toyota as if nothing happened. I got out of the passenger seat of the Volvo. I know the ass-bag saw us about to pull into that spot.

"Leah wait." Edward said climbing out the car, but I didn't let him finish.

"Hey asshole!" I called out. The guy turned around. "What the fuck was that for, jerk off? I know you clearly saw us about to pull in."

I motioned between Edward's silver Volvo and myself.

"Piss off lady," he said nonchalantly.

If I wasn't pissed before I was livid now, I lunged at his throat but a set of cold strong arms wrapped around my torso. Edward dragged me back and apologized to the ass-hole.

"I'm sorry, she hasn't been probably medicated today." He smirked down at me and I gave him the finger.

"Shopping, remember?" He reminded me, and I removed myself from his hold. Stupid bloodsucker.


	6. Chapter 6

**Special shout out to my wifey/beta farrahda5hy**

**Read and review!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**

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Edward grabbed a shopping cart and we made our way to the frozen food section. On our way, I picked up random junk food and threw them in the cart. He shook his head muttering his disapproval.

"You said I could pick the food." I grinned adding more junk to the cart. I'd be over his house everyday just to eat it all. As we reached the frozen food section I made a beeline to the ice cream and frozen desserts. I grabbed two tubs of my favorite rocky road ice cream and placed them in the cart.

"Leah shouldn't you be making more healthier choices of your diet?" he gestured to the items in the cart. I looked at him as if he'd grown two heads.

"Nope." I replied popping the "p" on the word.

"These foods are high in calories and can cause high risks such as diabetes, high blood pressure, and all that salt can cause a stroke. Look at the youth America of today, it's no wonder why they're so morbidly obese."

"Jesus Christ grandpa it's just junk food and it can't harm me. If you've forgotten I'm not human. My body heat burns the shit right off and plus the running I do in my wolf and human form keeps my body in perfect shape. Just look at these babies." I lifted up my short pointing the small abs.

"Pull your shirt down Leah. We're in public." He reached over and tugged my shirt down.

"Damn, you're such a prude. And Bella wants to marry you? Have y'all even had sex yet?" I said grabbing a big bag a cheese balls and throwing them in the cart.

His body grew rigid. "That's none of your business, Clearwater." He looked and reached for a pack of steaks and setting them down in the cart.

"I think that's about all." He said turning and heading towards the cash register

"Have you ever had sex at all?" I questioned as the lady began scanning our food and bagging them.

"No," He sighed.

What started as small chuckle erupted into a roar of laughter. _You're a virgin? _I thought in my head. _Jesus you've been holding out for over a 100yrs_. I wiped the imaginary tears from my eyes and sighed.

"No wonder why you're so uptight." I shook my head. "You need some pussy!" His eyes damn neared bulged out of his sockets. If he was human I'm positive his face would have been beet red.

"Leah!" he gasped.

"What?" I said. He looked around as if to see if some one had heard.

"It's highly un-lady like for a woman to use such vulgar language." I rolled my eyes. "Fine then, you need some vagina. Is that better grandpa Cullen?"

He just ignored me and paid for the groceries.

"Aww, come on leech I was only joking." I smiled. "Sex isn't as all as it seems" I lied.

"Its not about that Leah. Your generation is so screwed up. When I was growing up we were taught to wait until marriage to bond with our wives physically. It is disrespectful to women. To sleep with a woman before marriage meant that there was no emotional bond between the two, in society it meant that the women was nothing more than your common street whore. Not to mention it was believed that one would perish in hell for sex before marriage as it was a sin."

"Are you telling me, that you, vampire sucking, creature of the night, believe in God?" I scoffed as we put the groceries in the trunk of his Volvo. "Well, I do believe in a heaven and hell and that someday when I die I'll be shunned at the gates of heaven and sent to hell."

I shook my head "You got it wrong leech. So what if you want to have sex before marriage? I think it doesn't matter because you're in love with that person. And the whole, "I'm going to hell", thing is bullshit. You have a good soul which is guaranteed to get you a one-way ticket straight to heaven." I smiled sincerely.

"I lost my soul when Carlisle made me into the monster."

I sighed in frustration and placed my hand on his shoulder ignoring my basic instinct of my wolf.

_A soulless monster wouldn't have the ability to love or the ability to befriend his or her natural enemy, when she had no one_. I thought, rather than saying out loud.

"Thank you," he finally said. I shrugged removing my hand from his shoulder and closing the trunk of his car.

"I was only telling you the truth no need to thank me for that."

We arrived at the Cullen house. Every one was gone except for one vampire, the one with impossibly good looks. Gah!

"What is she doing here." the blonde leech sneered looking me up and down with distaste.

"Rose back off." Edward sighed while putting away the groceries. I grabbed the large bag of ranch Doritos opening them up enthusiastically before munching away.

"Why should I? She's made it clear that she doesn't like us. In fact she hates us." she turned her icy glare to me. Damn she looked even more beautiful when she is angry.

Whoa, down Leah! It's been a while since you've been down that road. I chided myself. Edward glanced at me and I ignored his penetrating stare turning my full attention back to the blonde.

She approached forward. "Leave dog...now" she was angry. I guess I'd be angry too if she treated me the way I treated her and her bloodsucking clan. But who the hell was she to tell what the fuck to do?

"Fuck off Blondie. What gives you the right to tell me what the hell to do? I'm here with Edward." she began to open her mouth but I cut her off "No, you can take your two cents and shove it up your pale white ass because I'm not going anywhere." I huffed.

She smirked. "So you guys are like friends now?" What the fuck? Is she fucking bipolar or something?

"Well I wouldn't call it that, it's clearly Edward seeking my  
friendship and I'm just sticking around for the food." I said shoving the chips in my mouth and chewing them loudly.

Rose looked away in disgust but despite she walked to me "You're not half that bad." she smiled crookedly that reminded me of Edward. She had a dazzling smile. Whoa Leah...gay thoughts. Again? I think not. Must be that damn leech voodoo. Definitely won't work on me.

"Besides your god awful wet dog smell and your bitchy attitude." her grin widened.

"You're just as much of a bitch through and through" I sniffed the area around her. "Yeah and I'd rather eat my own shit then smell you."

Edwards broke out in fits of laughter and rose sort of chuckled to herself.

"Where's Emmett?" he asked as we sat on the couch I plunged in a movie Interview With a Vampire.

Something about Brad Pitt with fangs just really got my girly bits tingling.

"He's out hunting I decided to stay home."

"Is there something going on? Normally you two always hunt together to you know...err do the unmentionable after." Edward cringed.

Rose sighed rolling her eyes. "I'm not hungry and I'm tired of fucking on the forest ground."

I laughed and Edward just turned away. "You know Rose." I whispered even though I knew he could hear me, "Sometimes I think he's gay."

She leaned her breast jutting out further within my eye range. My eyes widened, and my mouth went dry. Oh fuck! I am not a lesbian but damn, fucking vampires. She leaned in closer her mouth barely pressing against my ear.

"He wouldn't be the only person in this room I thought gay." she pulled back returning her gaze back to the movie. Oh Jesus Christ did it just get hot in here. I turned to Edward. What hell was that? He looked over at me, his eyes had darkened and he looked hungry. He cleared his throat shrugging his shoulders. We were already an hour into the movie when Edward groaned out loud.

"Emmett is here it's not hard to miss his thoughts. The images are filled with you." he shuttered as he looked in Rose's direction. I stifled a laugh.

"Rosie I'm home." Emmett flitted into the living room area where we were occupying. "Leah?" his face full of confusion. "What are you doing here?"

"Bonding with my two best friends," I replied sarcastically.

"No seriously, what are you doing here. Did Edward bring you here against your will?"

"No, Emmett, she's here with me" Edward replied.

"Whoa you two got something going on that I don't know about. Vampire and wolf. Kind of kinky" he joked.

"What the fuck? He's definitely not my type." I blurted.

"And she's most certainly isn't mine" Edward added.

"Right because if I were your type, I'd have a personality of a rock, trip over air, typical Mary-sue, pale and super skinny, oh the list goes on."

Edward growled and Rosalie giggled. Edward was angry now.

"Geesh lighten up Eddie I was only joking." I nudged him on the shoulder.

"Yeah well I'd greatly appreciate if you'd refrain from making fun of my fiancé Leah. Please."

I sighed. "Yeah sure whatever. You can't get pissy though, if it slips out from time to time. My mouth has a mind of it's own. As my mom always says."  
We were halfway through the movie, and Rose and Emmett were sucking face on the couch. I looked towards Edward. _Seriously how do you put up with this shit_? I don't. he mouth the words back at me.

"Damn you two, get a fucking room." I threw a couch pillow at their heads.  
Emmett removed himself from Rosalie and looked at me.

"And I was beginning to think you were enjoying the show." she winked. I scoffed. He stood up pulling Rosalie along with him.

"You're welcome to join in." he wiggled his eyebrows at me and Rose smacked him on the back of the head. I grinned. He rubbed the back of his head and picked up Rose carrying her upstairs.

I stood. "Well, It's been fun but I think it's time I head home." Too many vampires the smell can be overwhelming. And definitely don't want to be here to listen in on the show. I shuttered.

Edward smiled stood up and walked me to the door. "I enjoyed our time together Leah."

I rolled my eyes. "Cut the shit Cullen. We didn't do much but shop. If that was fun you definitely need to get out more often." I turned around and stepped out the threshold.

"Later leech." I called out. Oh it would be fun de-virginizing Edward. Not in the literal sense but spending the day with him maybe realize there was no excitement in his life. A thought popped in my head, and I suddenly turned and retreated back to the house. Edward was already standing in view. He extended his hand and smiled. "Ahh, thanks leech." I reached for the bag of Doritos and made my way back home.


	7. Chapter 7

**hello my faithful readers, here's another chap for you guys! I hope you enjoy it. As always thanks to my beta farrahda5hy, Love you wifey!**

**Read and Review you guys. I love reading your thoughts on this story. Feel free to list anything you like to see in the upcoming chapters. So far I've written 23 chapters for this fic but I loved to hear your oppinions and suggestions for it. So don't be shy!**

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Another boring day. Everyone was at Emily's or either patrolling. For what reason, I don't understand. I didn't feel like hanging at the Cullen's. For one, Bella is there and being surrounded by seven leeches and their funk is nauseating.

I lay sprawled out on top of my twin-sized bed. I grabbed my stereo remote and began flipping through tracks of one of my many mix CDs Sam made me. Pathetic of me to keep his old gifts, I know. But there were good songs up here. The house was extremely quiet and I was literally suffering from it.

Mom was god knows where with Charlie Swan. Seems lately that she's been at Charlie's more than she's been home. I wonder how dad would feel about that. It's obvious that those two are fucking. My mom is terrible at keeping secrets. The late phone calls and meetings were a given. Not to mention the super natural senses I have were a bonus. With my sensitive hearing, I was able to hear everything. Part of me wants to call her out on it, but the other part is waiting for her to confess. Seth and I had to the right to know.

I sighed and hit the power button on the remote to my stereo. I rolled over on the bed staring at the glow in the dark stars taped to me ceiling. I wish Jake were here. He and his teenage antics made life in La Push that much fun and bearable. But I guess he needed his time alone to heal, and who I am to take that from him? I was in the same shoes he was in, except I didn't have a place to escape even at my special spot. Sam was always deep in my mind, literally. When I was in my wolf form he was always there in my mind and no matter how hard he tried to hide it, for my benefit, his and Emily's private moments would sometime run through his mind when he wasn't concentrating hard enough.

It's what I hate most about being a wolf, the telepathic connection. It was strange how I was able to block them from my mind, but I could still hear them. I guess I'm a genetic fuck up. I try so hard to move on and forget about Sam and his bitch Emily but sometimes the memories of us would play through his head and I knew he still cared for me. He just doesn't love me. I thought bitterly.

I rolled off my bed and I got dressed. It was boring sitting in this house all day and I thought I'd go _bond_ with my pack brothers. I mean, what else was there for me to do? I grabbed a pair of my shortest shorts it didn't hurt to make Sam sweat, and an old faded tight band shirt. I stepped out into the warm air. It was late July. No sun, but the air was humid and hot. I hated it. I pulled the rubber band off my wrist and tied my hair in a high ponytail and began my short walk over to Emily's cabin.

I could here them before I reached the doorstep. They were all loud and obnoxious. Emily was busy in the kitchen cooking from what I could hear. No surprise there. She was the perfect doting housewife. Something I could never be. Waiting around hand a foot for a man was something Leah Clearwater would never specialize in. I turned the knob, pushing it open and stepping over the threshold.

"Hey boys! Emily." I greeted with a fake smile. It had only been a month and already she has a small bump on her growing belly. I tried not to let the pain and anger show in my face. In fact, to everyone's surprise I reached out and hugged her.

"Congrats Emily." I said rubbing her back awkwardly. I pulled back and looked up at her face. She was crying and yet I felt no remorse for putting on such a good act.

"Thanks Leah." she smiled. "No problem cuz." her smile grew impossibly wider and she reached out to hug me again but I stopped her.

"One hug will do." I frowned. She merely nodded.

"You're acting chipper today, Leah." Sam called from the other side of the living room. I watched him as he glanced me up and down his eyes lingering on my exposed legs and I smirked slightly.

"Just in a happy mood." I replied.

"Are you hungry I've made plenty?" Emily pointed to the table full of food. "I made a big pot roast, homemade mash potatoes and gravy, cornbread and green beans. And I think there's still some more peach cobbler left out on the table there but if not there's an apple pie in the oven."

Oh fuck me! Everything smelled so good. And I hated her for it. "No that's ok, I ate before I left." I lied.

"Well you look hungry to me." Paul interjected. I turned around sending him a piercing glare.

"No one asked you, shit face." he shrunk back into the couch. I turned my attention back towards Emily.

"Are you sure you're not hungry?"

"Yeah I'm fine." I walked over to the only empty seat, which was  
unfortunately beside Sam. Emily was busy in the kitchen so she wasn't hanging on his shoulder. I stumbled into the coffee table knocking over a few magazines. I bent over picking them up and set them back on the table. I heard some cat whistles and I stood up instantly.

"Nice ass, Leah." Paul and Embry had high-fived each other.

"Guys come on that's my sister." Seth looked down in disgust.

"It's the most ass you two have ever and basically will ever see." I shot back. I sat down besides Sam and he smiled at me briefly before turning his attention to Emily working in the kitchen. It took everything to mask the hurt that washed over me. I'm pathetic, I know.

"So..." I cleared my now dry throat. "What's everyone up to?" Smooth way to start an awkward conversation. I tried to smile but it ended up showing as a grimace.

"Bored with your sad life already that you actually start hanging with us, Leah?" Paul smirked. And I rolled my eyes.

"Obviously not as boring as your loser life since Rachel left you. It's funny how I'm so boring. Yet, you couldn't even keep your imprint around with you. How many boring nights do you spend whacking off to her high school pictures?" I replied.

"You want to fight bitch?" Paul stood up his body was trembling.  
I hopped up from my spot on the couch balling my fist up at my sides.

"Oh lets fight, just to show everyone what a giant pussy you are because me and you both know I'd kick your big ass easily." I growled. My vision  
was blurring.

"Ugly bitch." Paul spat. "It's no wonder why Sam dropped you for Emily. You're a bitter hag who can't cook worth a shit and you're a freak."

The room went silent. All I saw was red as my body began transforming.  
I snapped at Paul's throat, but something bit my tail and pulled me back. I wailed.

_Leah, leave now! _It was Sam. I shook my head. I was hurt. How could he attack me? I growled _No! Not before I finish tearing Paul to shreds_.

_Bring it bitch_. Paul growled.

We were all cramped in the small space of Emily's living room. Furniture was turned over and the place looked nearly destroyed. The other members stood on the sidelines watching as if this was the most entertaining show on display. I snapped my teeth at his jaw only a few inches away from his throat. I was infuriated.

_Enough!_ Sam's stupid ass alpha command echoed through my ears. I felt myself involuntary hunch in and my tail between my legs. It was so degrading. _Paul calm down and phase back now and Leah go home_. I turned my head sharply to him. _For what? I didn't start this shit_. I growled.

_Please just leave, Leah, you've caused enough trouble. If you would of just kept your mouth shut none of this would of transpired. You could of hurt Emily and our baby_. Ouch. The pain I felt at that instant was like a thousand hooks in my heart being tugged and pulled at. My chest felt heavy and it felt as if my muscles were constricting around my heart. _Fuck you! _I cried. I turned whipping my tail in his face and dashed out the door.

Stupid Sam and his fucking orders I wouldn't think twice before I ripped his throat out too, him and his make shift cookie cutting wife. Sam growled._ Get the fuck out of my head and you wouldn't hear shit that you wouldn't like. _I thought. He growled yet again but transformed without so much as another thought in my direction. I ran for a while blowing off some steam and energy. Running was one of the very few activities to help calm me. I pushed myself harder getting high off the adrenaline that rushed over me.

I felt a drop of cold rain land on my soft fur and I growled in frustration. I looked up the sky; it was dark and filled with large gray clouds. Thunder loudly clapped echoing through the woods and I yelped. Great. I thought. It was hot not only two hours ago. Not feeling like going home, I turned around and quickly headed to my special spot. It wasn't long before I was already near the familiar creek with the small cave. The rain was pouring down hard so I dashed into cave and shook all the wetness from my fur.

The wind was blowing hard making it impossible for me to start a bonfire. So instead I stayed in my wolf form to keep warm. I don't know why my life was such the way it was. I didn't ask to be a wolf. I damn sure didn't want it. Instead of bringing my pack brothers and me closer it drifted us apart.

I was still the outcast I'm not even sure if I was even considered their pack sister. They didn't want me with them during patrolling especially Paul. So why do I even put up with them? I should just leave. Go where? I wasn't sure but I was sure I couldn't stay here forever. Seth would do just fine without me, and mom would be more than okay. She has Charlie. Besides I couldn't stay around La Push forever. I'm grown, it's about time I do something on my own. Something for me. I sat in that cave for awhile watching as the rain finally stopped pouring down.

"Leah?" my ears perked up at the sound and I carefully stepped out of the cave.  
My nose wrinkled in disgust. Vampire. And not just any vampire, it was Edward Cullen.  
I didn't transform since I shredded my clothes earlier. I groaned. _What are  
you doing here? _I snapped.

"I didn't mean to intrude. I was on my way home from hunting when I heard your thoughts. Do you mind?" he asked gesturing towards the inside of the cave. I shook my head and we both walked inside the cave.

After a few minutes of awkward silence Edward finally spoke. "I'm sorry." He stated sitting down on the cold ground beside me. I lifted my head up from resting on my paws to look up at him. _For what?_

He sighed. "For what they put you through. No one should be put through such harsh treatment. Especially from family."  
I growled. _Please Leech I don't need your damn pity. And as far as I'm concerned some people have it worst off then me. I'll live._

He merely nodded. I sighed he was only trying to comfort me and here I was being the notorious bitch I was known for.

_I'm sorry_. I thought sincerely, _I had a really rough day. I guess I'm just tired of being alone. It's like no matter how hard I try they always shun me away. _He ran his hand over my fur and roughed it up playfully. "You have me." the gesture threw me off a bit.

"Despite your rude behavior and the fact that you're my mortal enemy, no to mention you smell horrid," he smirked then continued. "I consider you a friend. You're the only person that makes me laugh with your crude humor and weird thoughts." he smiled petting my head lightly.  
I shook his hand off and smiled. _Thanks. _I licked his hand with my long wolfy tongue.  
His face scrunched up in horror.

"Jesus Leah that's utterly disgusting!" he hesitantly sniffed his hand and he double over. "Dear god what did you eat? Your breath rinks of old garbage and zoo animals."

I was laughing the expression on my leech's face was priceless. Wait what? _my leech_. My friend, whom happens to be a leech. I corrected.

_Actually I didn't eat today. Emily tried forcing me into eating her poisonous food. _I gagged.  
"Let me take you out!" Edward Blurted out. I gave him a questioning look. "I mean you haven't eaten at all today and now I feel obligated to take you out for lunch. If that's alright with you?" he flashed a dazzling crooked smile that strangely made my face heat up.  
_Though I appreciate the sentiment I have nothing to wear and I really don't feel like racing all the way home._  
His face dropped for a second then brightened. "Wait right here my house is not that far from here." before I could reply he was gone.

A minute later he was back. "I raided Rose's closet. You and her are about the same size. Hopefully these will do." he set the clothes down and I took an involuntary sniff. "They haven't been worn. Rosalie never wears anything more than once. In fact none of us do, Alice's rules." he shook his said.

_Well do you mind? I'd like to get dress without an audience._ He dropped his lingering gaze. "Oh of course."

He stepped outside the cave while I transformed and put on the leech's clothes. There was no underwear. Looks like I'm free balling today. I laughed. I pulled on the tight black jeans and slipped the black v-neck sweater over my head. I pulled on the black matching Ugg boots that fit perfectly; Not my style, but it was something. I ran my fingers through my hair and cautiously stepped out of the cave. I hoped I looked at least half as decent for where ever the leech was taking me.

"No need to worry. You look beautiful."

I blushed. "Err Thanks Cullen. So, how about that food?" I tried lightening up the mood.

"Yes. Do you want me to carry you, or are fine with running? The car is parked at the house so I mean I'd hate for you to fall or something or fall behind." he smirked playfully

I rolled my eyes "I'm not your fragile human girlfriend. I'm positive I can keep up."

With that he smiled and took off. I huffed. "Cheater!" I called out as I raced to catch up. Damn show off.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello faithful readers, I really am glad to see that you guys actually like my story and I hope you all continue to read and review as you have been doing. Thanks to farrahda5hy for beta-ing this chapter, if beta-ing is a word. lol. I hope you guys enjoy the chap.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**

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We stopped at my house where Leah and I hopped in the Volvo. The others, I assumed, were still out hunting. I pulled off onto the road heading in the direction of Port Angeles. The highways were clear so I was able to stay at my normal driving speed. Leah was fiddling with my radio yet again but it didn't seem to bother me as much.

"I'm craving for some Mexican, what about you..." her sentence trailed off. "You know if you're hungry, thirsty or whatever we can pull over and pick up a baby deer." she joked

I made a thoughtful face "Hmm I don't really have an appetite for deer but I'm craving wolf." I licked my lips slowly.

Her face grew red, and I laughed.

"I already hunted, but thanks for asking."

She shrugged and crossed her arms under her breast causing me to glanced in their direction before quickly turning my attention back to the roads ahead.  
Thoughts of Bella flashed in my mind and I instantly felt guilty for looking at another woman in such an inappropriate way. Bella is soon to be my wife. I should be home with her discussing our future together. Instead, I'm taking another woman out to lunch.

She's just a friend. My mind shouted. Of course this was true, I could never love anyone else but Bella. It's impossible. Yet, Leah had become someone close to me in a matter of weeks. She's wild and ambitious and daring, my complete opposite. I guess I'm lucky to have her as a friend for the fact she's the only person who makes me laugh and the only female I know besides Bella who's not afraid to walk out their house without clumps of makeup on.

She's always herself and boy does she have a mouth on her. She challenges me and pushes my buttons to the point where it truly pisses me off. She sees pass all my vampire charm and accepts me as Edward the man. I've only truly known her for a month and I speak of her as if she were my best friend for years. I haven't had a friend since my human days. I don't remember much from human life but I don't think any of the friends I had then were as close as she was to me. Or as beautiful. She is beautiful inside and out. A little rough on the inside but deep down she has a heart of gold. She's just misunderstood but I get her because I've been where's she's been. I know that hurt and pain she's been dealing with. And if a friend Leah wants I'd be there for her, without her even asking of me.

Someone had to heal the broken girl. I don't see why she hasn't found someone to love. She's an attractive woman. Her lovely caramel skin, almond shaped eyes, and perfect hourglass figure would have any man, human or supernatural, on their knees. She was native goddess. Her beauty was exotic and striking where as to my Bella, her beauty was soft and natural. Thinking of Bella bought the pang of needing to be around her and her intoxicating scent. I missed her already yet I couldn't bring myself to leave Leah's side.

I took a small glance in Leah's direction. She was staring out the window twiddling her thumbs in her lap. Her brows were furrowed she seemed to be deep in thought. I peeked into her mind but she was blocking me. I sighed. She shot a glance in my direction.

"Something wrong leech?" she smiled knowingly.

"Not at all. Everything is just peachy." I grumbled sarcastically.

"Great." she smiled tightly. The care remained silent until we arrived at the small Mexican restaurant a few minutes into the city of Port Angeles.

"We're here." I shut off the engine and pocketed the keys.

"Already?" she looked outside flabbergasted.

I shook my head. "Vampire speed, remember? I wasn't quite obeying the legal speed limit."

I got out at my human pace and went to the passenger side opening the door for her. I held my hand out for her take. She glared and slapped it away.

"I'm capable of getting out on my own, thank you."

I chuckled and shook my head.

"I'm only being a gentlemen. Why must you make such a fuss about it?"

She stood up and I shut the door behind her, leaning too close causing my chest to brush across her breast. She gasped. Her neck was flamed red. I stepped back clearing my throat. I opened the door to the restaurant gesturing for her to go inside.

"Ladies first." I smiled crookedly. She stood there and I looked at her in confusion.

"You said ladies first, I'm waiting on you." she smirked.

"Well then I guess that makes you a man?" I questioned as we both walked through the doors.

"Man enough to kick your ass."

I smiled and walked up to the host. "Table for two please." I asked smiling politely.

The waitress smiled brightly at me, forgetting that Leah was standing right next to me.

_Oh fuck he is hot. I wouldn't mind him bending me over. And he looks rich. _I looked at her raising an eyebrow.

She blushed. "Of course r-r-right this way." She led us to a booth in the back corner of the restaurant. We took our seats and Leah began reading over the menu that the hostess handed to us.

"Your waitress will be with you shortly." I smiled and thanked her and turned my attention back to my beautiful friend. She placed the menu down and folded her hands down in her lap.

"You have decided already?"

"Yes, Sam use to take me here every weekend after school back then, and I'd usually order the same thing." she looked down as her mind began to fill with thoughts about her ex.  
"Your birthday is coming up soon." I added, an attempt to change the subject.

She looked up her eyes questioning. "Yeah it is. How did you know?"

I tapped my temple lightly with my index finger.

She grimaced. "Is there a way you can shut the mind reading off?"

I shook my head no, "I wish. Don't get me wrong my gift does come in handy but people's thoughts can be so vile and down right disgusting." I scrunched my face up. "And it would be nice to get rid of the constant buzz of voices in my head," I smiled sadly.

"Damn leech your gift "sucks". She air quoted.

I nodded in agreement. "So, what are your plans?" I asked.

She shrugged "I don't know, I haven't really cared much about my birthday since Dad died." I nodded letting the conversation end there. Little did she know, I'd make it a birthday to remember. Of course it wouldn't be as meaningful as it was when she shared it with her father but I felt she deserve any and everything. I already had plans forming in my mind. I hoped she wouldn't be like Bella and refuse them.

A blonde headed woman with her skirt on too short for a work uniform, and a blouse on with the top 3 buttons undone, walked over, or more like sauntered over to our table. She gazed at me, smiling seductively.

"Hi I'm Stacy I'll be your waitress for today. What drinks will you have?" She asked never taking her eyes off me. _Oh god Jenna was right he's a total babe. Maybe I'll slip him my number with the bill._

I rolled my eyes at her silly thoughts. "I'm not ordering but my date would like to." Her eyes widen at the word date. _Shit he's taken_. She turned towards Leah. _Ugh! She's not even prettier than me_. I frowned. Surely this girl must be blind. Leah looks a hundred times better than her, and this girl had on pounds of make up. She is so thin, I wanted to order her everything on the menu and force-feed it to her.

"What will it be?" she asked Leah impatiently.

Leah glared at her and picked up the menu. "Give me a minute I'm not quite sure." she smiled sweetly. _Edward this waitress is a bitch_. Leah thought. I smirked.

"I'll just leave you to it then." the waitress replied preparing to walk away.

"No, you just wait right here this won't take long."

I sniffled a laugh under my hand and the waitress turned and glared in my direction. _Edward she looks like a Barbie reject and wish she'd stop staring at you, damn vampire voodoo. I bet if she knew what you were she wouldn't look at you like that anymore. Then again she could as stupid as Bella so never mind. _The waitress began impatiently tapping her pen against her small notepad.

"Is there a problem?" Leah looked up from her menu.

"Not at all." the waitress smiled sweetly.

"Good, because I'm ready to order." she handed the menu to the waitress.

"Can I get the chicken flautas with out the bean crap? And buffalo chicken nachos, no guacamole sauce please." Leah stated.

"Anything else?"

Leah thought for a split second. Then nodded her head. "Yes I'd like you and your friend back there-" Leah pointed to the hostess in the back that quickly looked away. "-To stop eye fucking my date," She said in a sickly sweet voice. The waitress blushed furiously.

"Anything t-to drink?" the waitress stuttered out.

"Yes umm...water please." the waitress merely nodded.

"You're food will be with you shortly. I'll go and get your drink." The waitress quickly flitted away. _Crazy bitch_.

"Are you always so standoffish?" I questioned leaning forward.

She blinked furiously and relaxed back in her chair. "Only if a whore like that completely ignores me like that when you're around. Poor Bella." she shook her head.

"Why do you say that?"

"I'm sure she went through the same treatment when you've taken her out. It's no wonder why she's so quick to throw her mortality away to be like you. It's obvious she wants to be "inhumanly beautiful" as your kind." Leah rolled her eyes.

I took a minute to process her words. Did Bella really want me to change her because she wanted the beauty and the immortality or did she want to be with me forever? I shook it off. It could be plausible but it wasn't like that I was sure of it. I couldn't allow my mind to be filled with doubt so close to the wedding.

"You're wrong, you know." I said firmly. She looked up at me raising both eyebrows.

"Please enlighten me Cullen."

"I love Bella unconditionally, and she loves me just the same." I smiled confidently.

Leah rolled her eyes "Are you sure she doesn't love the vampire Edward Cullen?"

I gave her a look of confusion.

She sighed, "Is she in love with your vampire looks or is she in love with Edward Cullen the man? Do you really think that if you were human she'd give you second look? Pfft please. Bella is another pathetic human girl obsessed with your looks just like the waitress back there. You know what, she's probably more in love with what she could become. I bet you she's been pressuring you to change her. Hasn't she?" Leah smirked. I glared at her.

"Here's your water." the waitress placed Leah's drink in front of her and Leah picked it up taking a large sip before setting it back down on the table. "You're food is on it's way."

Leah mumbled a thank you and turned back towards my glare.

I leaned in closer to her face. "You know nothing! The least person I expect to be giving me a run down on my relationship is you. You have been pining over the same guy for years, the same guy who broke your heart. It's pathetic." I growled.

I instantly regretted my words. Hurt flashed in her eyes as fast as it instantly disappeared, replaced by anger. She stood up abruptly and in a panic I grabbed her hand. I didn't want to hurt her like Sam hurt her. I was her friend.

"Leah, please." I begged desperately. I couldn't have her leave.

"Get your fucking hands off of me!" she was seething. I quickly snatched my hand away.

"Leah please I didn't mean it." I whispered. People were already beginning to stare.

"Fuck you Cullen!" She spat and turned away, and I stood up.

"Leah please just stay and eat and I promise to take you home."

She stopped and hesitantly turned around. "You're lucky I'm really hungry right now Cullen." I smiled.

As soon as the food was brought out Leah scarfed most of it down. I watched completely transfixed. She was so unlike most human girls. Nowadays most women were so conservative when they ate, especially when they ate around human boys but not Leah. She really did not have a care.

"What are you looking at leech?" Leah asked grabbing a napkin and dabbing at her mouth.

"Nothing." She shrugged and pushed her empty plate to the side. "Finished?" I asked. She only nodded. We got back in the car and drove back to forks after I paid the bill. Of course Leah made a fuss about it and made me promise to let her pay me back but I had my fingers cross.

We pulled up to her small two-story home. I listened to see if anyone was home. No one was.

I turned to her grabbing her hot hand in mine, "Listen, Leah, I'm sorry about everything I said earlier it wasn't my intention to hurt you, at all. You're the closest friend I have ever had."

I smiled. "If it's not so much to ask of you though, would you just please refrain from even mentioning Bella's name in a bad way when I'm around?"

Leah sighed. "Sure, I'm sorry Edward." She looked up at me with sullen eyes. I hesitantly placed my hand on her soft cheek.

"It's alright." I brought my hand back to the steering wheel. "Where is your family? It's awfully late?" I asked in confusion. She looked away. "Seth is at Emily's probably and mom's with Charlie."

I peaked into her thoughts that were surprisingly unguarded. _They're never home. I'm always alone. Seth obviously can't get enough of Emily and her shitty cooking. And mom is fucking a white man. Oh dad is definitely turning in his grave._ I frowned. She turned to me and inhaled slowly exhaling.

"Thanks for taking me out and keeping me company." She was genuinely thankful.

And I smiled. "It was my pleasure." I reached for her hand and kissed her knuckles lightly.

"Sweet dreams Leah." She sucked in a breath full of air and stumbled out of the car. I chuckled lightly right before she gave me an inappropriate finger.

"See you around Cullen." She waved and I waited and made sure she got in the house safely then I drove home.

Indeed, I'd be seeing her soon. In fact, my little wolf had a birthday coming up, twenty-first birthday to be exact though physically she'd stay nineteen. I was pretty set on what I'd bought her but would she think of my present as too much? I didn't think so. I had made a call out to some friends out in Seattle while Leah had excused herself to the restroom when we were in the restaurant. They were able to provide me two front row tickets to see her favorite musician live at Seattle theatre. Leah would be elated, at least I hoped she would. I traced my lips with my index finger. They still tingled from when they made contact with her burning skin.

I took off leaving Leah's home and heading back to forks. One thought ran through my mind as I pulled into the driveway. Leah woken up things inside me that not even Bella could, and I'm not sure if that was a good or disastrous thing.

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_Author's notes: as i stated in the last chapter I've already written 23 chapters for this story, but I'd love for you guys to throw in some of your idea's or suggestions for what you'd like to see happen in this story. : )_


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello everyone, sorry for the slow update. School is killer right now, but thankfully I got most of my work out of the way so updates should come sooner now. also i had a hard time posting this chapter due to some stupid error. **

**special thanks to my beta farrahda5hy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, but the plot**

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"Edward where the hell have you been? We were all worried about you." Alice's mind screamed as soon as I stepped foot over the threshold.

"I thought you were going to see Bella after the hunt yet you were no where to be found." Alice crossed her arms over her chest tapping her small foot impatiently.  
"Hello to you too, Alice." I grumbled heading upstairs to my room in no mood to listen to her bicker at me, but she stopped me.

"Where did you go Edward?" she asked again.  
"Out" I sighed. "Where is everyone?" I asked.  
"Carlisle is at the hospital as well as Esme. She's helping with the sick children. Emmett and Rosalie are upstairs engaging in other activities." she shuddered.

"And Jasper's upstairs waiting for me." she smiled dreamily. I recoiled at the visual of her thoughts.  
"And Bella?" her face dropped.  
"At home with Charlie, worried sick about you. She thought you left her again. I had to lie and tell her you were taking a couple of hours more to hunt, Edward."  
I cringed, "I'm sorry. I should go talk to her."  
"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to." she chirped. I sighed and flitted to the door.  
"Edward," Alice called before I could make my exit. I turned around.

"Yes?"  
"You smell like dog." she said pinching her nose with her thumb and index finger. I chuckled and dashed outside running at a vampiric speed to  
my loves home.  
I approached her house. Charlie had fallen asleep on the couch, the TV still playing. I scaled up the all too familiar tree and hopped onto her window ledge silently. I tapped on the window lightly and watched as her head perked up and her brown eyes looked in my direction. Her eyes were puffy and red and still moist from freshly falling tears. I felt like a complete dick at that moment and I felt my heart plummet in my chest. I had hurt Bella.  
"Edward" she whispered. She blinked a few times. And I sighed lifting the creaking window and slipping inside.  
She hopped off the bed and jumped into my arms. I stopped all breathing

"Oh Edward it's really you? I thought you left me again." she cried into my  
chess. I caressed her cheek and spoke softly.

"Shh it's me, love. I'm sorry Bella. I should of called, but you must know that I'd never leave you. I've learned from my past mistakes. Leaving you would be a sin." I  
kissed her head softly and carried her back to bed.  
She snuggled under the blankets and I took a seat at the foot of the bed.

"Where did you go? Alice said she couldn't see you. Were you in La Push, with the wolves?"  
I sighed. "No, I was in Port Angeles. Well I mean I was with one of the wolves." I shrugged in an attempt to act nonchalant about it.  
Her eyebrows furrowed up in confusion.

"With who?"

I ran my long musician fingers through my hair contemplating if I should tell her the truth or not. Did it even matter? Leah was just a friend so it shouldn't, right? Why did it feel like Leah meant more to me than just a friend? I shook the feeling off and decided on telling Bella the truth.  
"I was with Leah." I said. My eyes focused on my lap too much of a coward to look her in the face.  
There was dead silence for a while and I finally looked up at her. Her face was contorted in confusion.  
She finally responded. "What were you doing with Leah Clearwater?" she spat her name out as if it were a disease.  
"Leah's a friend, Bella. I just took her out to eat." I stated simply. Her eyes  
widened in shock and I shook my head catching on to where her train of thoughts were heading. "Not like that Bella." I reassured her. "She hadn't eaten all morning so I bought her lunch." I explained.  
"It took you long!" she exclaimed.  
"We were in port Angeles. She liked Mexican food." I shrugged nonchalantly  
"She likes Mexican." Bella muttered under her breath and shook her head slowly.

"I was waiting for you Edward, and you never showed up. And thoughts of you leaving appeared in my head. . . a-a-and I nearly lost it." she shook her head repeatedly, " You can't leave me I need you." she cried desperately.

I wrapped her shaking body in my arms to console her. You'd think after me leaving her she could at least be a little bit more independent. I sighed, not everyone can be a "Leah Clearwater."  
"Next time I'll call." I kissed her lightly on the top of her head. "I'm sorry I put you through so much trouble." I said sincerely.  
"Wait, what? W-what do you mean _next time_?" she pushed me away.  
"I mean the next time Leah and I should hangout, I'll be sure to let you know where I am." I stated simply. Secretly I felt as if Bella was my damn guardian and I was seeking her permission.  
"So you and her are planning on hanging out together. . .again?" she raised her eyebrow at me.  
I mentally rolled my eyes. "Her name is Leah." I corrected, "And yes, she's my friend Bella. In fact I'm taking her out for her birthday next week."  
Bella's eyebrows shot up in surprise.  
"What?" I asked kind of annoyed.  
"You, never took me out for mine. Besides when did you too because such great friends." she pouted, jealousy etched in her tone. I rolled my eyes at her childishness.  
"I always offer but you refused to accept any of my gifts or for me to take you to nice places. And I don't know Bella," I shrugged. "We just talked and she wasn't as bad everyone makes her seem. You should get to know her more." I smiled.

Bella snorted, "Not a snowball's chance in hell would that ever happen."

I looked away from her an attempt to hide that slight anger that etched across my face. When had I started being so protective over Leah, that I'd actually be pissed at my fiancé for berating her?

"Edward?" she sat up and I quickly collected myself giving her the smile I knew she loved.

"I'm fine."

"So. . About Leah's birthday, will you be gone long?" she looked up at me with bright doe eyes.

"I doubt I'd be gone as long as I was today, Bella." I lied. I'd stay as long as Leah wanted me to, but I would never tell Bella that.

"Besides, you'll be busy with Alice planning our wedding." I smiled.  
"What a joy." she mocked sarcastically. I let her climb back under the cover as her eyes began to get heavy with sleep. I made may way to the old rocking chair in the corner of her room after tucking her into bed and kissing her lightly on the cheek.  
"Edward." Bella whispered sleepily.  
"Yes love." I stared into her soft brown eyes as they gently began to close.  
"Promise me something." she whispered. Her eyes now completely shut.  
"Anything." I whispered back.  
"Promise me you won't leave me no matter what." she yawned.  
"I promise Bella, if you promise the same."  
She smiled. "I would never leave you. I love you Edward."  
"I love you, now go to sleep." I whispered.

That night Bella moaned that wretched dog's name in her sleep. I left after the forth whisper of Jake as it echoed through my ears.  
I felt guilty afterwards. Jake was her friend as much as Leah was mine. I shouldn't be mad. Especially since Leah happened to be on my mind a lot lately.  
I ran home, took a quick hot shower and threw on a pair of dark jeans , and a white t-shirt. An outfit choice Alice wouldn't approve of.

Quietly, I darted out the house in the direction towards la push. I decided to stop by and see Leah before I ran back to Bella's place. I reached the small two story home of the Clearwater's in record time. Everyone in the house was still asleep from what I could hear apart from Leah. Her thoughts read that she was silently reading. I couldn't catch the title of of the book. It was slightly dark outside the light rain from earlier created a cooI mist in the atmosphere. It was nearing almost dawn. Had Leah been awake all night or had she just woken up?

I walked into the Clearwater's backyard where I knew Leah's window was located. I hopped up catching the branch directly under her window. I leaned over and tapped on the window glass softly. What the hell? Her thoughts rung out loud and clear. I smiled. I heard the patter of her feet before she drew back the red lace curtain.

"Edward?" she gasped. I smiled.

"Well are you going to let me in or not?" I smiled crookedly. She glared at me. "Do you have any idea what time it is ,douche bag?" she complained lifting the creaking window allowing me inside her toasty room. I shrugged.

"Does it matter, you're awake anyway." I replied with a grin. She muttered under her breathe.

I looked around Leah's room in wonder. I never had been inside her room before let alone her house. Her walls were a plain crème color but were filled with multiple colored nick knacks and posters bringing vibrancy to it. Taped all over her ceiling were glow in the dark stars. I smiled. I walked over to her dresser where a few pictures rested. There were pictures of her and Seth a few with her and her dad. There was even one with her and Sam, sitting in the back of a pick up truck holding hands. I frowned. I took another survey around the room there was a small book shelf in the far corner. All the shelves were full. There was a small book resting on top. A book dedicated to dogs, Siberian huskies to be exact. Did Leah like dogs? I glanced at the book about what I assumed to be her favorite breed and stored it in my memory for later use. I noticed the stuffed animal that had seen better days resting on her bed. It was dog. Siberian husky. Hmm. Definitely her favorite dog. How ironic. I chuckled to myself.

I turned and I smirked when I came across the shirtless poster of usher hanging on her closet door.

"I know it's juvenile-"

I cut her off. "No it's not. It's so. . You" I laughed, not able to find any other words.

She threw what looked like a small Teddy bear at me, which I skillfully dodged.

"Why are you doing here?" she finally asked. I shrugged.

"I didn't have anything to do."

She rolled her eyes. "Stalking your girlfriend in her sleep not doing it for you anymore?" she joked.  
"Not when said girlfriend is dreaming about Jacob." I sighed taking a seat on her soft twin sized bed.

"And you're jealous? He's her friend, Edward. She chose you remember?" Leah poked at my chest.

"So you have nothing to worry about."

I sighed. "It doesn't feel that way Leah. Sometimes it's not Jacob that's worries me, though." I looked at Leah sadly.

"What's bothering you, Edward. You can tell me." she asked, her eyes full of concern.

"Sometimes I wish she had chose him instead of me." I sighed.

"Why? You love Bella don't you? You're getting married. Look if this is about what I said to you at the restaurant-" I cut her off,

"I'm actually afraid of getting married, Leah." I laughed with no humor.

"Getting cold feet, Cullen?" she smiled hitting me lightly on the shoulder. I chuckled shaking my head.

"Not at all. I _do_ want to marry Bella. I'm just not sure what happens after. Bella wants something that I wish I could not give." I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. "She wants me to change her, that's the only reason why she agreed to marry me. That and another thing." I shook my head. "The point is, I'm not sure if our feelings will be the same after the wedding and after I change her. I'm marrying her because I want her to be mine in a sorts and I love her. She's marrying me because, well she wants to be a vampire and to have sex to put it bluntly."

Leah sat in silence while processing my words. She brought her warm palm to cheek caressing it in her soft hand. The warmth of it was comforting. "Edward, something you should never have in a relationship is doubt. I'm sure she loves you as much as you love her. Even though I really don't like Bella, she's good for you Edward. Think of all the risks she has taken just to be with you. Sure they were all stupid, in my opinion. But whoever said love was rational?" she smiled softly. Her eyes were full of compassion and concern. She seemed to generally understand. I wonder if this was how Leah use to be before Sam left her. "The thing is, you have to trust her Edward. You'll never know unless you take that chance. If you love her, change her. Be selfish for a change." she patted me on the cheek playfully. I rested my head on her warm lap and she began running her soft fingers through my hair. I sighed in content. "When did you get so nice, Leah Clearwater?" She shrugged. "I've always been nice, Cullen. I just keep nice tucked away because bad Leah is so much more fun." I smiled. "I don't like bad Leah." she smirked. "Are you telling me you don't like me? I'm always bad, leech." I flipped her underneath me so I was towering over. "Is that right?" I growled playfully. "Yup!" she flipped us over so that she was now straddling my lap. "Nice Leah is boring. Bad Leah is fun." Leah shifted on my lap causing a stir below the groin. I did the only thing I could to distract the situation. "Tickle war!" I yelled. Leah gasped. "Don't you dare." I ignored Leah's warning and allowed my fingers to ghost across her belly successfully removing her from my lap. "Cullen!" she gasped for breath. "Stop now or I swear I'll fucking kill you." she was laughing uncontrollably. I reached for her feet and her eyes widened. Her body began bucking like a wild horse as I began tickling the soft spots of her feet. "Oh god I give in! I give in! Please, stop!" she begged all the while laughing. I chuckled letting her go. I allowed Leah to catch her breath while I began to get ready to leave. "You're leaving so soon?" she sounded disappointed. I sighed. "Yeah. I need to get back to Bella." I smiled apologetically. "Yeah you're right. See you around Cullen." she turned her face away as I made my way out her window. I contemplated turning around and staying the rest of the morning but decided against. Bella is my main priority. I stopped at my house and said a few hellos to the family and made my way back to Bella. She was still asleep as I climbed my way through her window.  
I took my seat on the rocking chair. She looked so peaceful and  
truthfully, I would miss this part of her. Hearing her say my name in her sleep, the faint blush that crept up her cheeks when I kiss her, the small imperfections about her that remind me everyday she's human. She's the only thing that kept me close to humanity. After I change her it wouldn't be the same. She'll be cold and hard, and her eyes will never be the same warm welcoming brown. I'll miss her human touch. I sighed. Maybe Leah was right. I do want Bella forever but vampirism is something no one should ever want willingly. She's choosing to throw her entire life away and for what? Our love for each other? Did she love me more than her family? Did she really want to be with me or be like me? All these questions filled my mind and I'd never know the answer to them, her mind was a closed book never to be opened. One thing Leah was right about is, I shouldn't allow my mind to fill with doubt. Bella stirred in her sleep and peeked out from under the blankets.  
"Edward?" she whispered.  
"Yes my love?" I smiled.  
"Nothing, just checking to see if you're really there and not a  
figment of my imagination" she sat up, her hair was in a messy disarray and she tried futilely to comb it out with her fingers. "God I must look really terrible to you right now." she grumbled out in frustration. I frowned. "You look beautiful Bella as you always do."  
She rolled her eyes. "Right." she replied in a sarcastic tone. I sighed, wishing she'd take my compliments seriously.  
I followed her movements as she gathered clothes and bathroom necessities. "I'm going to go shower, wait for me?" she asked.  
"I always do." I softly replied. She smiled and hurriedly stumbled to her bathroom.  
I thought of the time I spent at Leah's earlier. How carefree and happy she seemed until I left. Making Leah smile and laugh like that seemed to bring joy to me. I then made a promise to make her smile every chance I could.  
A few minutes later Bella stepped out of the bathroom and into her room smelling freshly of strawberries. Her hair, still damp, was in messy bun.  
She smiled. "So what's on the agenda for today?"  
I shrugged. "Not much, we have the day to ourselves we can spend it doing whatever you want. Picnic at our meadow?" I suggested.  
She came and plopped herself down on my lap. She thought for a second tapping her index finger against her chin lightly "hmm, no I'd rather stay here kissing my hot vampire boyfriend." she smile suggestively leaning in too close for me to handle "Bella." my voice was strained.  
"I won't try anything, Edward. I just want to be close to you."  
She turned around to face me straddling my hips. So many things were running through my mind as I stared deeply into the pools of chocolate. "Bella I have to ask you something."  
She nodded an okay and I inhaled slowly welcoming the uncomfortable burning her scent brought in my throat.  
"Can we hold off changing you after the wedding?" I looked her into her eyes in search for an answer. There was none. "I'm not saying I won't change you, but could we just maybe postpone it?" I gulped.  
She began hyperventilating. "what? Y-you can't do that. We agreed that if I married you that you'd change me during the honeymoon." she cried.  
"Are you only marrying me because I agreed to change you?" I didn't mean for that to slip out.  
She gave me a look as if I had slapped her across her face. "No Edward, I am marrying you because I want be young with you forever."  
This answer didn't settle for me. I sighed "Bella I love you,  
god knows I do, I'm just, I'll miss this Bella." I placed my cold hand on her cheek. "You doubt yourself so much. You're beautiful and you don't need the false beauty of becoming a vampire to make me see. Just give me another year." I was desperate.  
"Edward I'll be 19. I'm getting older every minute and you're asking me to wait longer?" Yes I am. So what, Leah's 20 and I still want her. I mentally slapped myself.  
"Well why not? I could careless how old you get because it wouldn't matter. I love you why can't that be enough for you?"  
"Why won't you just change me Edward?" she snapped.  
"Because I know the consequences of the choice you're making Bella!" I yelled.  
She recoiled and my voice softened. "Cant you see what you're giving up? Charlie will be devastated. You are all he has. You won't be able see him again along with your mother." I sighed, "Does any of that even matter to you?"  
She looked offended. "Of course it does, Edward. I just, god! I just want to be with you. It's all I want, to be young with you forever." she cried desperately.  
"I guess this argument was pointless then? There's no getting through to you. You're so stubborn." I smiled though my eyes were grave.  
"That means you'll stick to changing me after the wedding?" she beamed.  
I simply nodded, there was no getting through to her.  
She kissed me. And I leaned into her kiss. "I love you Edward. So much." she smoothed my hair back soothingly. I leaned into her touch, secretly wishing it was a different pair of warm hands on me.

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_**yeah wtf is up with this error type 2 thing? it was really pissing me off. anywho I found a way to work around it if anyone else is having problems. go to the url and replace the word "property" with "content". It should take you to your edit page and you'll be able to update.  
**_

_Really hoped you all liked this chapter! Read and Review as always_


	10. Chapter 10

_Read and review please!_

_Reviews make me all tingly on the inside : )  
**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot**_

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Tonight mom was having a small dinner party at our house and I really didn't want to attend. It's not like I even had a choice in the matter, it was something mom and dad always did the day before my birthday to bring the family together. Any other time I was pretty passive about this whole get together, but today I would of done anything to escape this hell.

Everyone on the Rez was coming. Sam and Emily, the entire pack and their family, unfortunately. I hadn't even spoken to the pack since Paul and I got into it. So to say that this dinner party was going to be extremely awkward would be the understatement of the century. The elders and Charlie were also coming. Much to my dismay. I hated every last fucker on the council. They didn't do much to hide their dislike of me being in the pack. They felt I made the pack look weak. They could all kiss my ass, well except uncle Embry. He was the only old ass up there that actually accepted me.

No one bothered to invite the Cullen's. I would of, but then it wouldn't of really made any sense. They don't eat and besides I didn't want Bella around. I know. It's childish but I can't stand the girl. And if Edward expected me to behave around her, then it'd be best for me not to be around her, simple as that.

I sighed as I watch my mom scurry around the kitchen taking out her finest china to please these heifers. I couldn't help but think how extremely boring this whole ordeal would be. Without Jake here with me I'd have to face my screwed up family and the snobby asses of the council. I wasn't particularly fond of everyone. So why waste my time in fruitless conversation? I never had. Jake and I would always sneak off with the booze that mom would stupidly leave out and we'd drink out on top of the cliffs until midnight. Then he would sing, horribly, happy birthday to me and we'd pass out til morning. Things have changed this year, though.

Jake left, and I don't know when he'd be coming back and the only person to keep me out of my misery was Edward but he's probably somewhere with Bella, worshipping the ground she stumbles on. I groaned. I need to keep Edward off my mind. He's my friend that's all he'll ever be. And I'm cool with that. I think. But there's these thoughts that have been forming in the back of my mind lately and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't the least bit attracted to him. My thoughts disgusted me sometimes. Me attracted to a vampire? Is downright unmoral and plain disgusting. I'd be shunned upon if anyone on the Rez were to find out my feelings for the leech. But as much as I try to brush it off as me being attracted to insanely good looks, I knew it was a complete lie. Sure he had the smile that could make any girl melt into goo, but he has the most delicate and sincere soul on this planet, for a walking dead guy.

He's smart, and witty, and so old fashioned, he listens and understands, he hurts me just as much as I can hurt him. He's not perfect. The vampire looks sure, but he's so emo, and controlling, so insecure, and cute. I frowned at myself. Gahhh! I'm too old for this teenage crush shit. Get it together Leah. I berate my self. Though, I wonder how'd it be if Edward and I would get together. Of course it would never happen. But a girl could dream. I sighed. There's bound to be someone out there for me.

"Leah would you check the roast in the oven, dear. my hands are a little busy." my mom broke me from my thoughts. She was walking around the small kitchen with pots piled in her hands.  
I hopped off the counter I was sitting on and checked on the roast, "about 10 more minutes, mom." I shut the oven door.

"Alright, let's get this food out on the table. Would you go  
get Sam or someone to come help?" Why would she mention Sam? I shake my head.

"umm.."Sure" I huffed. I marched out of the kitchen my fists balled at my sides. I look up from the carpeted floor and to my surprise Sam was heading in my direction. He paused in front of me,

"Leah. Hey." he smiled awkwardly. We hadn't spoken since the fight at Emily's. I prayed to God he couldn't hear my heart beat accelerate. I shifted my feet,

"Mom needs your help setting the table." he nodded.

"Alright." he touched my shoulder squeezing it gently. I fought off the urge to have him touch me again. I watched as he maneuvered through the kitchen carrying heavy plates and utensils to the dinning room. I watched as a pregnant Emily stood up and began helping him. Her belly had grown exceptionally large. She was only 3 months along in her pregnancy. My aching heart lurched at the thought of her having twins. Sighing, I turned my attention else where.

Everyone chatted happily at the two large dinner tables we had set up in the dining room. I kept to myself. There wasn't much to talk about and people didn't really put out an effort to include me in their conversations, which was fine by me. I quietly picked at the slice of meat and vegetables on my plate, not really hungry surprisingly. "So Leah," shocked that someone actually acknowledged me, I turned my head in the direction of which the voice came. My uncle Embry smiled at me. He was middle aged drunk and part of the Elders, but a pretty cool guy. Owned his own jazz bar and let me drink for free. Of course he never let my mom know this or the other members of the council. That's why he was so cool. Better than the other old stuck up asses.  
"Any plans for your birthday?" uncle Embry asked. I shrugged my  
shoulders.

"I might go out or something." I lied. I didn't have plans. If anything I'd probably waste away with a bottle of grey goose in my hand. I hoped I'd be spending it with Edward. I quickly dismissed the thought.  
"Will you be hanging with Edward? You guys seem pretty close." My eyes widened at Seth's outburst. Everyone at the table gasped.  
"That bloodsucker?" Paul shook his head in disgust.  
Sam's head snapped in my direction.  
"Since when have _you_ took a liking to the leeches?" he asked bitterly.  
I rolled my eyes,

"Since you and everyone else decided I wasn't needed let alone wanted around." I retorted.  
"Please Leah, don't be silly. We do want you around. We just don't want you attitude around. Besides, you can't expect our own enemy to treat you better." he snorted. My blood began to boil.

"He does actually. He treats me better than you ever could." Shit! Please don't let him take it the wrong way. I silently begged in my mind.

"So, all this time you haven't been around you've been screwing around with that leech?" he looked at me disgusted.

"I knew changing the treaty would be a mistake." he muttered. "What the hell were you thinking, Leah? He's already in love if you haven't noticed. You always want someone you can't have. How long have you two been seeing each other?" he slamed his fist down on the table, shocking everyone.

"It has to have been a while. I should of known." he shook his head.

I gasped. Everyone at the table fell silent. If my heart wasn't broken before it was now. I felt a numbing pain as his harsh words ran repeatedly through my head. _Always want someone you can't have. _His words pierced through my heart like a sharp bullet. I quickly composed myself sending him the iciest glare I could muster.

"What the hell is that suppose to mean? You think we're fucking you idiot?" my voice was full of hurt.

"Leah, mind your language." my mother shot. I ignored her.

"You're never home, you're never out patrolling, nor do you attempt to bond with the pack. You've been spending time with those filthy monsters the whole time. Knowing you, you've probably been dying to get your claws in one of them. I will not allow this Leah, Not in _MY_pack!" Sam yelled with so much force.

"He's my fucking friend Sam, I'd never want him in that way." lie.

"You sure about that Leah?" He eyes pierced into my own as if he knew the truth. He couldn't of, I was only being paranoid. "

This type of behavior could get you exiled." his gaze turned to the elders and they nodded in agreement.

"Says the one who allowed the leeches to walk on our very land, the land where our very own ancestors are buried who died fighting their kind." I growled. I took a small relaxing breath to keep my self from phasing at the dinner table,

"I don't want Edward in that way." lie.

"Neither would I ever wish to want you." Not completely a lie.

"You egoistical asshole. Go fuck your self and die!" I stood up and excused myself walking out the front door. I could hear the commotion from everyone gathered in the house. Their disputes were centered on me. I growled. I needed to get away from these fuckers and their accusing eyes.

I ran through the forest quickly peeling off my clothes and taking my wolf form. It was dark. The night air cold for the summer of august. The dirt of the earth felt good beneath my paws as I took off at a really fast pace. I didn't know where to go I just ran. I contemplated going to my special spot but I had the sudden urge to talk to dad. I traveled the short distance to the large cliff looking over the now dark blue ocean. I didn't bother phasing back.

I sat on my hind legs staring up at the deep full moon. The wind was blowing gently and I let out a silent cry to my.

_I miss you dad. I need your guidance_. I howled at the moon pain etched throughout my voice. _How could Sam hurt me so much, Father? I should of listened to you. You warned me he was no good and yet I fell for his charm. I was ready to marry him. And then he just left me and god damn he didn't even fight! He didn't even fight for what we had, what we shared. _I howled again.

I was in agony. The forest behind me was quiet. I had scared all the animals away with my howling. And possibly frightened all of La Push. _Daddy what am I suppose to do?_ I shook my head. _I try to move on. I honestly do, but I loved him. I gave my self to him and all he did was throw our love in my face. _I thought of Edward. How much he's been there for me lately and how close we've become.

_I like him daddy. I know he's not apart of the tribe but he's such a sweet guy. His old corny humor makes me laugh, and he stands up for me. He was there when Jake left even though I treated him and his family like shit. He's my best friend when no one else can't stand to seem to be around me. He puts up with my bitching._ I sigh. Someone as sweet as Edward deserves Bella. Simple sweet cookie cutter Bella. I shouldn't be having these feeling for a leech. Especially an engaged leech. I'd be La Push's home wrecking whore if word got out. _I need a sign dad . . .anything_.

I looked up at the dark sky as the wind blew aimlessly through the forest. Brushing through the leaves gently. _God I miss you so much daddy it's so hard watching mom sneak off with to Charlie and see Sam gush over the now pregnant Emily. _I sighed. _I'm sorry you must get tired of hearing me complain every time I come up here. I love you daddy and I'll be back to visit you soon._ I stood still hoping for, I don't know. Maybe for him to magically appear in the clouds like in the Lion King movies but nothing eventually happened.

I took off in the direction back to my house not even bothering to use the front door remembering the fact that I was naked. I climbed up my two story house window and landed in my room with a soft thud. It was best I'd avoid the penetrating stares of the people below. I grabbed an oversized t-shirt and threw it on, too tired to get in the shower. Once everyone had left the house, I grabbed my phone and dialed a number I had never thought of dialing before. His phone rang twice before I heard his voice speak.

"Leah?" I smiled.

"Edward." I spoke. My tone held a slight edge to it. I cleared my throat. As if sensing that something was wrong with me, he asked, "Is something wrong?" I sighed,

"Everything. Everything is wrong Cullen." I heard slight nose in the background before I heard his voice.

"Would you like me to come over?" he asked genuinely concerned. I was about to tell him yes, but then I remembered he's probably with Bella right now.

"Nah that's alright. I just needed to hear your voice." I clamped my mouth shut. Seriously the word vomit thing is getting old. I need to get my shit together. I quickly stammer out an apology. And he chuckles, making the situation less awkward for me. "And I'm the creepy stalker, Leah?" he laughed.

"Definitely" I giggled.

"Hey Edward?" I spoke softly into the phone.

"Yes, love?" He answered back his voice velvety smooth sent shock waves down my spine. I stopped all train of thought instantaneously. What am I doing? Nothing good could ever come from this. Whatever _this _was. He had to have felt the connection we had whenever we were around. It couldn't of just been mean. Then again Edward couldn't be the slightest bit interested in me. And even if he was it wouldn't matter. He's with Bella. Sweet innocent Mary-sue, Bella. Okay so I'm totally saying that out of jealousy. Bella always gets _the_ guy. I sighed,

"Never mind. Goodnight Edward."

"Are you sure you're okay." I laughed an attempt to hold my self together, but it ended up sounding strangled.

"I'm perfectly fine. Now go back to creepily watching your girlfriend in her sleep, while you masturbate in a corner." I heard him began choking through the phone. I giggled.

"Happy Birthday beautiful. Sweet dreams." I looked over at the clock resting on my nightstand. It read 12:01. I was now another year older, wiser.

"Thanks Cullen. Good night." I flipped my phone shut and placed it on my bed side table. I was now 21, and yet nothing has changed with my life. I wasn't looking forward to the same birthday routine that I've been going through for the past two years. And yet as I drifted off to sleep I had the feeling that something would change. Maybe it was my crazy ass imagination, but I couldn't fight off this feeling that something would change within me.


End file.
